Happy Day!

Maybe it is because it is coming to weekend so my mood is going up... it is already weekend anyway...

friday morning i saw him at the bus stop... he was early... kind of surprised... haha... and for the 1st time I heard his voice... kind of nice... for the 1st time I saw his smile... haiz... he was talking to two girls... nice one... talk to girls he so happy... anyway... mood is happy de...

sl gave me a sticker... haha... thanks... dídn't know she likes frog de... chen xia also like froggie de...

thursday... I had consultation with mr chee... he is sweet and all... nice! =)

It makes me ponder... what is hate? I used to thought you hate that person because you are jealous of that person, because she did better than u...but there are actually many other factors... I used to hate a person to the core when I was in my primary school... I wish her die... I wish she could simply disappear from my sight or what so ever... I hate her for all the things and sufferings she had done to me... she had used me... she had treated me like an object... but now I had learnt to protect myself... maybe in fact I have to thank instead of hating her... I saw her once again in school... I felt nothing when I saw her... I told no one about this particular person... but something happened recently... well maybe a few weeks ago I found out... made me think about this incident again...

after all the pain... I felt so glad I was out of pri sch... I learnt a lot of things or have a clearer mind in fact... learnt to have a bigger heart... because I learnt that hating someone is such a pain... way too pain... after so many years... my heart has calm down... or rather I had become a calmer person...

after reading mad's blog... made me think a lot... sceptical... fake... is everyone acting? why is everyone acting? I dunno... because it seems to me that everyone is so cautious about everyone... but I had to admit one thing man is selfish... I think we had become individual... we had put ourselves in the 1st place instead of putting others in the 1st place... ya... everyone only cares about their own business and don't really care what others feel...

It feels great to be direct sometimes... I tried hinting to her the other day... come to think of it I think I kind of harsh... am I? I dunno... but I really hope that this problem would solve... I want to talk about it... but simply dunno how to ask and I really scare this would actually affect my feelings once again...

I really can't afford to put myself in that deep ocean again... I tried swimming in it the other day but it was simply too deep... almost drown myself... I was in real sad condition that I really don't feel like going to school...school is the most hateful place that I want to get out... but lucky I was able to swim back to shore or find an island or someone come by to help me or give me advice or some kind of support... I really want to thank these people... whatever the case... just want to say... friends are for company and share the joy and sadness that we have.... but not to make use of... and I simply dislike those people who made friend just because you can get advantage of these people... at the sight of it I feel like puking...

anyway... should I ignore or talk about it? haiz... troubled... get some sleep ba and think tml...

take care and endure! =)