Moral

I really dun understand. I had tried so hard. I thought I can cope. I thought I'm on the track. I thought I can get on and concentrate on my studies. But I have to admit, I don't think so. I not halfway even there. I really feel like giving up. No matter how much I tried, it seemed not to work. I really feel like giving up. I really have no energy to continue. I am so stressed up. I started to hate school...

But I hate to admit failure, admit defeat even more. Is there anything that moltivate me to go to school? I dunno. Maybe there is. Because to see the shuai teachers in sch? because to see that guy? I really don't know. I feel that I really can't breath already. I started to drop lots of hair lately. I thought it was not obious until yc pointed out to me today...

Is it a sydrome of stress? Whenever I'm sad, I tend to bottle up my feelings. I tend to cry to myself. I know it is bad. But what else can I do? I do not want to worry people around me. Especially my parents. They had enough of work already, I really don't want to burden them. Not to worry, the stubborn me will continue to work on. I believe in faith. I believe in hard work. Principal says before change your thinkings change your life. I do not want all my year delicated to books so I had made a decision that is to join bai yun gang. I know it is tough especially the block test is near. But I believe I can cope. Especially when my project has already done by then I guess. I think it is a good way to devert my thoughts in studies once a while. Not a bad idea right? I don't care if people think I'm stupid or what or my parents disagree. I simply don't care because it is my decision. I know the results. But I believe I won't end up there as long as I listen attentively in lectures and in lessons. "A"Level already started since the 1st day when I stepped into this school... just that I realised it late. But I do hope it is not too late. I believe I still have time to catch up. I have to be more FOCUS and CONCENTRATE! Jia you girl! You can do it! Go to your goals! They are waiting for you! =)