Too much

So many things happened recently... one moment, I was in a happy situation, where I could laugh and enjoy and crap with my new friends... I was really joy that day... feeling great... but that night... I wasn't...

I thought I was strong... but I was wrong...

I walked deeper and deeper... I felt scare with each step I took...

When I saw him, I was depressed. I could feel his pain, his misery, his wu nai, his regrets. his fear, all at once. I don't know why I felt it, I just feel it. From his expressions. When people are in pain, I guess they simply can't hide anything.

I was heart ache. I felt my scare, I feel my shiver. I feel my temper. I don't want to see it anymore. Tears starting to form in my eyes sockets. I thought I could hold it all. But I can't. I simply can't.

I get go of them all. That was the time, I felt I was weak.

What is death? I simply don't know.

Sorry that I had made everyone worries. I really sorry.

I was fine the next day. went to the temple to pray. I really hope everything is just fine. Why can't life be simple? Now, I understand how weak human is. I always thought we can control our lives, I thought we can control our fate. Guess I am wrong.

Today, I feel that I wasn't my normal shelf. but I was trying to act normal. way too normal that I thought it is not normal. I felt that I was simply not myself. Whatever, I was simply tired. I don't know who I can talk to.

I won't forget that night. The misery night.

I'm just tired. Tomorrow I gues, is my official day to start studying for mid year if there is nothing goes wrong and provided that my mood does not go in my way.

okay, shall start on my SGC already... see ya! =)

~Initiative is to sucess what a lighted match is to a candle. ~
Orlando ABattista